Where's Home?

I sit here a week shy of my daughter's 2nd birthday - reflecting on the last two years and, more broadly, the experiences that Josh and I have had over the course of our relationship.

There have been many things pop up in my life the last few weeks that have made me question "Where Home Is". Growing up, "Home is where the heart is" became the cliche term for where you can call home.

There are times when I see Florida and I realize that there are so many who count me lucky to be living in a state that rarely sees 50 degree weather. But if there is something that Josh and I have learned since we moved to the Tampa area in October of 2006, its that there is so much more to home than temperature. Don't get me wrong - the weather in Florida is wonderful MOST of the year. Summer weather, however, usually arrives around April and doesn't let up until sometime in late October. It can be more than a little oppressive.

For my northern friends who think there is a lot to envy about Florida weather, let me tell you that htere is GOOD reason why so many people "snowbird" in Florida. During this extremely hot time of year, it is rare that you can actually enjoy being outdoors between the hours of 11am and 6pm. What this means is that if you intend on enjoying the beach, you may want to do it first thing in the morning. As a northerner, I am still not adjusted to the incredible heat and while I have met many people who have transplanted themselves to Florida from the northeast and they assure me that they would never go back if given the chance - I am not one of those people.

There are a lot of things that you take for granted growing up in the Northeast. For one, the northeast has a little something called "character" - and let me be clear that "character" and "charm" are very different words. "Charm" is the word that you would use to describe the warm, tree-lined streets of small southern towns. "Character" is the word used to describe New York City alley-ways riddled with graffitti. "Character" is the word you use when you want to talk about the facades of apartments, townhomes, or single family homes which are varied and unique. The facade of a house tells the story of the family living in it.

Its easy to take the northeast's accessibility for granted - to not realize that you have New York City, Philadelphia, Boston, and even Washington D.C. in your back yard. You live in a state like New Jersey and say "I am not driving an hour away to see... (insert ANYTHING here)". An hour by car in New Jersey is a lifetime - where in Florida, an hour in the car is nearly standard for most visits.

You take for granted the melting pot of people who populate the Northeast - but then wonder why you can find a decent Thai place within an hour of your house.

You whine and complain about needing reservations to eat at your favorite restaurants until you live in a state that doesn't believe in reservations and you rarely eat out because you don't want to wait an hour and a half for a table just to enjoy dinner with your husband.

You become impatient with the "kids" who populate the town you live in, but don't realize that they are the vibrance that makes your town interesting. Until you live in an area where they drive souped up golf carts to the grocery store and the Walmart has specifically designated golf cart parking, you really don't know what value 20-30 somethings can bring to a town.

As you step away from the northeast, you realize how rare exposed brick is, how hard it is to find a cafe or a diner, or the enjoyment that can come from admiring the works of a local artist - and MOST especially the work of an artist who speacializes in something other than seascapes.

And don't even get me started on the savvy, personalities, and sense of humor inherit in Northeasteners.

When I was visiting Pennsylvania for my brother's memorial this past March, I asked my father "where home was for him". I asked him if there was a place that, from the moment he put his feet on the soil, he felt like he was where he was meant to be - because that's what home is to me.

As I got off the plane with Olivia in Newark airport, I felt as though I have brought my daughter home. While Florida has been able to afford Josh and I things that we would have or may never have had the opportunity to have or pursue if we had stayed or moved back to New Jersey, in the same respect there are many things that money cannot buy and that no amount financial peace of mind can replace.

So while my heart may lie squarely wherever Olivia and Josh are, I can't help but think that Josh, Olivia and I are mostly in the wrong location. At some point we are going to have to assess whether we are limiting Olivia's exposure to many many many things in the interest of her college education and a few family vacations. It's an arguement we have been tossing around for well over a year and it's one that we will continue to have until we really begin to face her entering elementary school.

For some reason, I can't shake how much I miss my family, art, music, theatre, food, friends, and seasons.

Can't I just transplate my house, my mom, and my dogs in the middle of a tiny corner of land in South Jersey? Can't we just make that happen?

Let me tell you, my Northeastern friends - until you are retired, the grass is NOT greener on this side. Think long and hard about what you have before you think that you'd be better off outside the rat race. It's a different way of life, down here.