So a big thank you to my HS friend, Deanna, who came up with this week's blog topic: Children and Technology.
Now, let me preface this by saying I am not about to launch into a full on medical summary as to how technology affects our children's brain chemistry. There are many (medical)studies out there that can cover this topic for you and help you, as a parent or potential parent, determine what content in what quantity is right for you and your family. I can tell you that in my house, it is rare for a tv to be off, but Josh and I are very specific about the content. For instance - we will watch Nick Jr. quite a lot, but I won't let Olivia watch "Wow Wow Wubzee" (I think its mindless and never has a moral, lesson, or educational application despite what the show's intro says). I also don't like for her to watch The Wiggles (there is something about forty year-old men living together and doing a kids show... it creeps me out hardcore)...
But let's be somewhat realistic here: speaking as a parent whose daughter goes to daycare - and more specifically to someone else's house during the day - Its not realistic to expect that Olivia will never watch or see anything I don't want her to. Moreover, I am a big believer that without exposing her to all things in life, and being there to teach her what's good and what's bad, she stands less of a chance to make the right, educated, decisions when she older. If I withhold something from her, I am, by proxy, not giving her the tools that she will need to make smart decisions when I am not with her.
And of course, let's not forget the whole philosophy going into teenager-hood of "I was never allowed so I am going to sneak it".... scary.
With all that said, we live in a very technological age - much more so since we were children 25-30 years ago. By the time a child enters in kindergarten, it is not uncommon that they will know how to turn on a television using the remote control, find the channel that they want to watch, etc. They will know how to turn a computer on properly, find the program they want to open, start their application and properly shut the computer down safely. They will know how an iPhone or iPad work all before they can write their own name in crayon!
So, here we are - the new generation of parent - required to figure out the balance between technological evolution and responsible parenting.
Olivia, at 20 months old, is already very interested in anything with a touch screen: My phone, my iPad, our iPods. Working in an organization where the spectrum of technilogical prowess is quite vast, I can say that I would like to see my daughter raised with an interest, understanding, and aptitude for technical things. There is no stopping the speeding train of technology - that is without question.
The approach that Josh and I have taken (and I will be honest here, we have opposing views on to some extent) is to provide Olivia with limited options and structured opportunities to play with these gadgets. For example, I have downloaded an art program to my iPad which Olivia can play with and explore only when she is in my lap. If she picks up the iPad without our permission, she is corrected. If she tries to touch our iPad while we are working on it, she is corrected. But when she is invited to come sit with us and explore it... that's different.
At 20 months, I think that this is sufficient for her little mind - it holds her interest for about 15 or so and then she has moved on to other toys in the room.
Josh, on the other hand, thinks that we are setting ourselves up for her wanting to play with the iPad or other tech toys and to some extent he is correct. With that said, the hottest toy for pre-school aged children this year was a hand-held learning system known to parents as the "iPad for children" - with robust applications for kids to learn and interact with. The reality is, in my opinion only (of course) is that you cannot stop your kids from being interested in these things. Its where our society is these days and they are a natural part of his or her environment.
When we were children the cable box was brand new. George and I would fight over who got to punch the buttons.
When we were children cabbage patch was like nothing ever seen before and every little girl had to have one.
When we were kids ATARI and Nintendo came out and we couldn't get enough of it. The control offered a joystick and two buttons ("A" and "B") - these days I can't even play a video game becuase there are too many controls.
When we were kids you could smoke on airplanes and in malls and restaurants in every state in the country.
When Olivia is a little bit older you better believe that these tech gadgets will come with limits attached to them. There will be no mindless hours of internet surfing or texting or game-playing. iPads, iPods, computers, laptops, cell phones, etc remain the property of Mr. and Mrs. Joshua Boyle - NOT Olivia Shea Boyle. Computers will be kept in public areas of the house. She will not have her own phone line. She will not have her own cell phone (I know, I'm extreme - and "No"... not even if she begs really hard and every single one of her friends has one). She will not have a tv in her bedroom.
As I have said in previous posts, it is our responsibility to parent our kids. YES the TV makes a great babysitter and YES the iPad/Pod/Phone offers hours of quiet entertainment for the kid/teen to enjoy so mommy and daddy can enjoy some peace and quite - but it's lazy parenting. Yes, it easier - but all things worth doing are hard. Don't bitch about the teenager who won't listen to you when the last time you spoke to your kid was 10 years ago when the downloaded Angry Birds.
When I was a kid I spent HOURS singing in my room. I spent HOURS drawing. I spent HOURS inventing things in my head. I spent HOURS outside. I spent HOURS playing with friends. It is our responsibility to give our kids the exposure that they need to be successful in all things and I am a strong believer that technology and adaptability to new technology is an absolute must in order for our kids to grow with the world around them... but it is also our responsibility to know what they are looking at, know what they are watching, and know who they are talking to. How can you do any of that, effectively, if you give them carte blanche in the interest of not "singling them out from their friends".
Let the other parents be lazy parents. Let the other parents raise kids with a sense of entitlement to $500 computer equipment. Let the other parents raise kids with no respect for boundaries. Let the other parents raise kids who text through dinner. Let the other parents raise kids who would rather be online or gaming than spending time with their family or learning how to communicate with peers and other adults face-to-face. Let the other parents let their kids be raised by cop shows and crime dramas, the Simpsons, Gossip Girls, the cast of South Park or Family Guy, etc.
Do your job. Save yourself the heartache when you kid is old enough to expect things and mold their expectations now. Teach them responsibility. Teach them that you are looking out for their best interest - you DO know better. Teach them that you love them SO MUCH that you are going to give them the exposure they need to know how to keep up, but that you aren't going to let them raise themselves. Teach them that YOU are the one who sets the limits and boundaries. Teach them that the new (expensive) equipment that they are using is NOT theirs - its yours - and possession of that property is a privledge and responsiblity, not a right.
It's a lot of work - but we had kids. We made an 18 year commitment to ONE thing. We were nuts... but that's not our kids' fault and they shouldn't get the brunt of it because we underestimated how long (and how intense) the commitment that we made to them was.
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