As I toyed with the prospect of re-re-resurecting my blog, I found myself looking back at previous entries and laughing at myself; recognizing not only my growth from late-20-something to early 30-something or married mother to single parent but the secure and concurrently erratic mentality I held was in from 2011 to 2013.
Frankly, my "stuff" was no good.
While 2012 was an absolutely horrible year (divorce, foreclosure, job loss, failed relationship...), my ultimate decision to leave the grind of administrative work earlier this year and pursue Event Design was a good one. I have enjoyed the benefit of the decision tenfold - both spiritually and financially even despite the fact that I have worked harder this year than I have in all my previous year's work experience.
Though, admittedly, the prospect of flexibility and additional time with my kiddo seems further away than it ever has in some respects. Hey, it can't all be perfect, right?
Still, I look back on the ramblings of the un-gelled me with some pride. While vacillating between complete confidence and unabashed self-criticism, self improvement has never been a strong suite of mine and the flailing about at least served to show that I was trying. Trying to be a better mother, trying to be kinder to myself, trying to be a better daughter, trying to be a truer friend and learning compassion and empathy while not becoming an co-dependant doormat.